


The Space Between

by Erait_Kai



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ahch-To, Ben Solo Deserved Better, F/M, Fix-It, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Dyad (Star Wars), Happy Ending, Let Rey Mourn, Love, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey Needs A Hug, Reylo - Freeform, Tros fix-it, World Between Worlds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:28:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25080118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erait_Kai/pseuds/Erait_Kai
Summary: Compounded on all of the death, perished heroes, martyrs and innocents, lay the death of half herself. A last act of redemption and self-less compassion. Love.
Relationships: Rey & Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 3
Kudos: 19





	The Space Between

She still felt him against her body as she looked down to where he was only moments ago; still felt his hand in her hair and his lips against hers. Panicked, she placed a hand on the empty tunic he was wearing before his body disappeared. She desperately wanted to feel his warmth, if for only a few seconds more. Then it hit her. The pain was unbearable; her very soul felt like it was being ripped apart, as her other half left her.

“Ben,” she choked out in a strangled sob. “No...”

“ _I will always be with you_ ,” came his voice, and she felt his warmth like a gentle embrace. She closed her eyes and let the feeling wash over her like a balm for her broken soul. Then it was gone.

Time stopped. She sat there in a daze for what seemed like hours, trying to process everything that had transpired. How could this be? What kind of fate was this for Ben? She couldn’t feel him through the Force anymore. It was as if he never existed. “But you did exist,” she spoke aloud. “Why can’t I feel you?” Was this some kind of punishment? Where did he go?

She picked up their lightsabers and hooked them to her belt. In a fog of disbelief and agony she also gathered up Ben’s clothes, tears streaming down her face. Slowly she turned and walked away, toward her x-wing.

***

She put on a brave enough face at the celebration, but inside she was adrift. Poe and Finn knew right away that though she had saved the Galaxy, she had lost a part of herself in the process. They didn’t understand what exactly that part was, but Rey wasn’t quite Rey anymore, and both of them knew that they would never see the old Rey again. It was apparent as soon as they saw her come out of the X-Wing. The old Rey was gone. Wars did that to people. And while war was easy enough for the ace pilot and ex-stormtrooper to understand, Rey’s loss was something that they couldn’t understand. Not fully.

Compounded on all of the death, perished heroes, martyrs and innocents, lay the death of half herself. A last act of redemption and self-less compassion. Love. Ben gave her his remaining life force so that she may live. He knew it would be his end; he didn’t have much left him after the Emperor’s attack and yet he did it anyway. He wanted her to go on.

Watching the rebels laughing and talking, Rey sat on a log by the huge fire. She felt completely apart from them, and knew that soon enough, she would be asked what happened. What would she tell them?

A series of inquisitive beeps broke her out of her reverie.

“I’m just tired BB-8, that’s all,” Rey said, patting the droid on the head. “I’m going to go rest. Go on, have fun with the others.”

Another series of beeps, this time a little sad sounding.

Rey shook her head as she stood up. “No, really. I’m fine. I’m going to get some sleep. Come see me at dawn.”

BB-8 turned his head back and forth, then rolled away. Rey sighed. She was tired. She needed to sleep and she needed to meditate. Taking another glance around at the party that was now in full swing, she felt isolated. She couldn’t even smile.

A new beginning for the Galaxy. But not for her. “ _Alone forever,_ ” she thought. “Ben....” she whispered, hoping for an answer through the force. Still, none came. The pain deepened. Why wouldn’t he answer? They were of one soul, two halves of a Dyad. The combined power that had fuelled their connection should most certainly transcend death. Luke had appeared to her, and she had been surrounded by all who had come before her before she defeated Palpatine. She could feel others. But not Ben.

Rey turned slowly, and headed back to her belongings. Gathering what little she had, including the Jedi texts and Luke’s journals, she headed to Leia’s empty quarters.

Securing the door behind her, Rey allowed her grief to overcome her. Pulling Ben’s tunic from her sack and holding it close, she sank down on the bed and cried until there were no more tears and sleep overtook her.

***

There was a slight breeze coming through the trees, rustling leaves and sending tiny cotton-puff seeds adrift. The lake water lapped rhythmically against the sand. Birds chirped happily and took flight, circling high in the warm currents above.

Ever so slowly, as if waking from a lazy nap under the sun, he opened his eyes.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” asked the figure sitting opposite him, cross-legged on the grass. “I always loved it here. If I had listened to her, things would have turned out differently. But that was not our fate,” the man said with a sad smile. “And you - you did what I could not. You saved the woman you love from death.”

“Grandfather?” Ben asked, startled. He looked around, trying to determine where they were.

“You’re disoriented. It will pass in a moment,” Anakin smiled. He moved his hand across the grass. “You might be wondering where we are.”

Ben closed his eyes, and tried to reach out with the Force. His eyes snapped back open, a look of slight panic and confusion darted across his face. “I can’t feel Rey. Or you...what is this? Am I dead? Wait...yes, of course I am.” It all came back to him then. Palpatine.

Anakin grinned, and looked down with a chuckle. “You’re not dead, Ben. Right now you are...in between. This looks like Naboo, but it’s not, not really.”

“Ok,” Ben shook his head, as if trying to clear his head. “But then what is this?”

Anakin smiled. “Think of it as a place between places. I’m here to help you.”

Ben’s shoulders slumped as he shook his head again. “Help me? But how? After everything I’ve done...I can never be redeemed. Saving Rey was something I had to do, but it could never make right all the evil I wrought.”

“His deeds will not be forgiven until he merits,” Anakin simply replied. “The Force does not rely on morality...it rewards us based on whether or not you live by its will. You see, our bloodline was created by the Force. I had no father, just my mother and the will of the Force. We have been pawns to prophecy all along, Ben. The Chosen One, The Dyad...Darth Sidious knew we were coming, and sought to seduce us to circumvent his downfall. He succeeded at first,” Anakin shrugged. “Through Snoke, he manipulated you. He found your weakness - loneliness - latched on to it, and compounded it. I was redeemed by the love and belief of my son and the memory of your grandmother, and I was returned to the Light. You were redeemed through the love of my daughter and your love for Rey, bringing you back to the Light. You were stronger than me - the _conflict_ , Ben, always inside you. You see, you may think that your loneliness started because your parents seemed too busy for you, or were afraid of you...but initially that wasn’t the case. It was because your soul was searching for Rey, who hadn’t even been born yet. The two of you form a Dyad - one soul in two bodies - soulmates. She felt it too, alone on Jakku. And that’s why you’re not dead - you’re held here because the Force wills it; she’s still alive, and you have a shared destiny to fulfill.”

“My parents, Uncle Luke...they were afraid of me. I only ever wanted them to be proud of me, to want me around.” Ben looked down at his hands, trying to compose himself. “I failed them.”

Anakin got up, and moved to sit beside Ben. He put his hand on his shoulder. “No, Ben. They loved you very much. To be a parent is not to be perfect - they made mistakes, as all do. This way of thinking...This is why I’m here to help you through this. Your whole life you were subjected to the will of Sidious. Reach inward, and you will feel the truth of this. Your mother knew, and so did Rey. Luke was blinded to it, but he came to understand his failure.”

“Rey,” Ben whispered, “I need to go to her.”

Anakin nodded. “Soon.”

“She shouldn’t be alone.”

“No, but she won’t be for long. Time flows differently where we are.”

***

Rey was awake at dawn, rehearsing the message she intended for her friends. Soon enough, BB-8 came as asked the night before.

“BB-8, I need you to record a holo-message for Chewie, Finn and Poe,” Rey said to the rolling droid who beeped a question in response.

She shook her head. “I can’t. Not right now. You can play the message for them a couple weeks after I’ve gone; they’ll understand. Ok?”

A mournful series of beeps answered her.

“Ok,” sighing, Rey stood. “Start recording.”

BB-8’s holo-recorder light turned on, and Rey took a deep, steadying breath. “I can do this,” she thought.

“Chewie, Finn and Poe - I’m sorry that I couldn’t bring myself to speak to you in person. You’ve been like brothers to me, the family that I always wanted. The truth is, I need to go off on my own for awhile, to understand everything that has happened.

“Losing Leia was both a tragedy and a rebirth. Because with her last strength, she called Ben back to the light side. Kylo Ren died on the wreckage of the Death Star, and Ben returned. You may not believe that, but it’s the truth, and something I had seen in a vision.

“I left him there, on Kef Bir. Right before Leia called him back, we were fighting - Kylo Ren and I. He was distracted by Leia, and I wounded him - mortally. Then I felt Leia...leave us...and I healed him. Then I left, took his ship, and prepared to go to Exegol.

“I’ve never been more frightened in my life, walking towards the Emperor. But it’s a Jedi’s duty to face her fears, so I kept going. When I faced him, he told me that he wanted me to kill him...because his spirit and power would be transferred into me. He told me it was my destiny to be the new Galatic Empress. I didn’t know what I was going to do...but then I felt him - Ben - he had followed me, and was coming to help.

“We faced the Emperor together, but he stole our energy and used it to attack the fleet with Force lightening. He threw Ben down a pit, and I fell. I couldn’t feel Ben anymore. I asked the Force for strength, and heard all the voices of the Jedi who came before. They helped me rise and destroy the Emperor deflecting his - our - Force lightning back at him. But, it took everything I had. Finn, I believe that you felt me die.” Rey looked down at her hands, which she had clasped in front of her.

Looking up, she took another steadying breath and continued. “The thing next I remember, I woke up and Ben was holding me. He brought me back using the rest of his life force. He died so that I could _live_.” Rey began to choke up. “I wanted you to know, so that you might understand why I have to go. Without Ben and his sacrifice, things would not have gone the way they did. He died a Jedi, redeemed by the Force.

“But now...he is gone. I cannot feel him through the Force and I don’t know if it’s because I just can’t do it, or...I don’t know. What I do know is I need to go to find _myself_ again.”

She managed a small smile. “My friends, the Force will be with you, always. Goodbye.”

BB-8 stopped recording and rolled closer to Rey, seemingly nuzzling her leg and beeping sadly.

Rey knelt down, and gave her droid friend a hug. “Thanks BB-8,” she said quietly. “I’m going to miss you too.”

***

“Still your mind. Breathe. Reach through, beyond the veil. See the interference and move through the spaces in between it.”

Ben’s brow furrowed as he tried to reconnect with the Force. Every attempt he made was met with a strange barrier - it was like trying to transmit a message but only receiving static back. He’d been at this for days, from his point of view. There was no way to tell the passage of time here, but as Anakin has told him, it flowed differently in this place. That knowledge still didn’t help to alleviate the anxiety of knowing Rey was alone.

He closed his eyes, determined to succeed this time. Picturing the veil, as his Grandfather suggested, Ben relaxed further into his meditation. He saw the static and looked closer, seeing the tiny gaps in amongst the noise.

“Good, Ben, that’s good. Now, move closer. Feel the Force through the gaps.”

“There. Yes, I can feel it filtering through.”

Anakin nodded. “Through and around. It is the fabric that binds all. Reach for a thread, follow it. Then you can push the veil aside.”

Beads of sweat started to form on his brow - or, what he perceived to be sweat anyway since there was no true physicality in this realm. He was so close - there! Reaching for the thread, he grasped it, only to have it slip through his fingers. Concentration now broken, he collapsed shaking from the effort of it.

“I had it, but lost it,” he gasped, his eyes now wide open. “I was so close.”

“Don’t lose hope. Patience, Ben. You did well.” Anakin smiled encouragingly at his grandson. “Next time, you will make it through.”

“But to where?”

“When you move part the veil, concentrate on her, find her through the Force. You will then know where you are going.”

Ben worked to slow his breathing. The mental exertion was immense and unlike anything he had experienced before in his years of training. Nodding, he looked out over the lake, his thoughts turning to Rey. “I’m worried about her Grandfather. So much has happened to her. She’s strong, but I promised her she’d never be alone again.” He knew she wouldn’t go back to the Resistance, the only family she’d ever known. Not after what happened.

“I know, Ben. You will be with her again soon.”

“It’s not very Jedi like, is it?”

Anakin laughed. “No, it’s not. But that’s why the Jedi failed. The code...did not lend itself well to humanity, for want of a better term. Forbidding attachment...well, you know the story.”

Ben shook his head. “Not fully. Though I have an idea.”

“Well, it’s a long story. One that R2 could tell you one day,” Anakin chuckled. “Let’s just sum it up this way: the Jedi chose to follow a strict black and white path, even though the Force moves in shades of grey. It has a plan, call it destiny if you will, and what it commands us to do varies greatly from the hard and fast dictates of The Code. That was why the Jedi failed. They ignored the earliest teachings, the Sacred Texts, and made their own rules. Doomed to fail, from the beginning.” Anakin reached out his hand, flicking his wrist to reveal a scene playing out before them. “Padme and I had to marry in secret because of this. If the Jedi had embraced the Grey, we wouldn’t have had to hide in the shadows.”

“Grey,” said Ben thoughtfully as he watched in wonder at his grandparents on the balcony.

“Hmmm,” Anakin hummed in response. “The understanding that often in life, lines are blurred.”

The warm breeze of Naboo continued, and the birds still rode the currents above.

***

“No, Finn. I must go,” Rey kept her eyes downcast as she packed. She hadn’t expected her friend would be up so early after the night of celebration. Maybe he hadn’t gone to bed yet.

Finn stood behind Rey, arms limply hanging by his sides. “Why won’t you look at me Rey? Look, I don’t know what happened down there, but I do know we wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. Please tell me, why do you have to go?”

She sighed, heavily. “ _Ben saved us all_ ,” she thought, but wouldn’t dare say aloud - she couldn’t bear saying his name to anyone just yet. BB-8 could relay the message; history needed to know the truth of what happened. Shoulders slumping, Rey turned to face her friend. What he saw in her eyes told him everything he needed to know, without having to ask what happened. The toll of the final battle had changed Rey forever.

“My part in this is over, Finn. I...I just can’t stay. Can you try to understand? I have to be alone...to meditate, to study and...to heal.”

Her eyes pleaded with him to not argue, to not ask any more questions. He bowed his head. “Will I ever see you again?”

Rey sadly shook her head. “I don’t know.”

Slowly, he came closer, arms coming up to embrace his friend. Rey started to cry, quietly.

“Then, may the Force be with you,” he said into her hair, tears forming in his eyes. He would never know what happened to her on Exegol, but it didn’t matter. She needed to do this.

Pulling away, Rey gave him a final look, picked up her bags and turned to leave. Finn knew that was the last time her would see her.

***

Flying the Falcon without a copilot was a little tricky, but Rey wasn’t too worried about it - she’d done it before. With a bit of extra preparation, it wouldn’t be a problem. While working through her final calculations for navigation, a familiar sound caused Rey to purse her lips. It was the sound of two droids bickering. Closing her eyes, Rey sighed.

“Oh! Mistress Rey! R2 and I are here to accompany you on your journey.” C-3PO joyously proclaimed. R2-D2 beeped in delight.

Rey groaned. “You two, I’m going off on my own.”

R2 beeped out some questionable language. “I quite agree, R2! Mistress Rey, General Organa left us with implicit instructions. You are our new mistress!”

More beeps followed. “R2, I understand you don’t want to be alone again after Luke left, but there’s work here for the two of you to help with. And I need to do this on my own.” Rey put her hands on her hips, trying to mask her depression.

But R2 wouldn’t take no for an answer. He rolled off to the cargo bay.

With a frustrated sigh, Rey shook her head and threw her arms up in the air. “Arggg! Ok, ok. But this is not going to be the type of adventure you’re used to!”

“Quite alright! I will close the ramp and assist R2.”

C-3PO left the cockpit. Rey slumped down into the pilot seat, and covered her face with her hands. Exhaling, she muttered to herself: “Great. Just great. Well, better get comfortable.” She stood and gathered up her sack to stow in the compartment behind her seat. Opening the door though, she found something...a holo imager. Curious, she held it in her palm and clicked it on. Her breath caught when she saw the image being projected - Chewie, holding a toddler. A toddler with dark hair and pudgy hands, squealing happily whilst pulling on the Wookiee’s fur. _Ben_.

“Oh, Ben...” she whispered as a fresh wave of pain clenched her heart. Her lower lip began to tremble and her vision blurred with tears. So much had been lost, taken...sacrificed. She sat back down in Han’s old chair watching the small boy in Chewie’s arms. What she wouldn’t give to have had things turn out differently. To have had the chance to take Ben’s hand and stand at his side as she had yearned to do over the past year. She always knew he would turn, she had foreseen it, felt it through Kylo Ren’s constantly conflicted and tormented emotions. And he had wanted her...he didn’t think he had the strength to escape the dark path he was on. The realization came too late, for both of them.

She realized that she did love Ben. For the longest time, she had thought that she was only romanizing the idea of him - infatuated with the thought of who he was. But that wasn’t the case. She had seen who he was, underneath the mask - literally and metaphorically. Rey switched off the holo, but still held it in her hand. This was a treasure; she would keep it always as a reminder of the strength and courage of the family that was now gone.

Composing herself, Rey took a final glance at the controls and fired up the Falcon. She had to find a way to find peace; she couldn’t allow Ben’s sacrifice to be in vain. He wanted her to live. She just had to figure out how to do that while carrying around a huge hole in her heart.

***

Ahch-To was quiet and serene from Rey’s vantage point on the Falcon. It to her beckoned in a way it hadn’t before; this was where she’d find peace.

Setting down where the Falcon has landed before, Rey shut down the engines and secured the ship. “Threepo, R2 - stay with the Falcon. Maybe you can get some work done on that compressor for me,” she said, swinging her rucksack over her shoulder. “I’m not sure how long I’ll be.”

“Of course Mistress Rey, R2 has always been a great help with the Falcon.” C3PO replied.

She nodded, turned, and started making her way up the many ancient stairs to the Temple.

***

He sat cross-legged on the sand, quietly watching the lake glitter in the sunlight. Such a tranquil place; he remembered playing in it as a child. One day, in the real world, he would bring Rey here.

“Ben,” a soft voice called on the breeze. It was a voice he knew well, one he had longed to hear again for more years he could remember.

He closed his eyes, recalling all the good memories. He had to learn to focus on that; to retrain his old way of thinking and reverse the years of conditioning by Snoke’s - and the Emperor’s hand.

“Mother,” he replied. Inhaling a steadying breath, he opened his eyes to see Leia standing before him, young, like he remembered her.

She sat down beside him and reached for his hand. “I’m so sorry Ben. I never really got to say that to you.”

Shaking his head, Ben gave her small hand a squeeze. “I’m the one who failed. How can I blame you, when it’s me I can’t forgive? Look at all the evil I created; what I did to Dad. What I did in the end...saving Rey was the easiest decision I ever made. And the least I could do.”

“When you have children of your own, you will understand. You must learn to forgive yourself. It was Kylo Ren that was evil, not Ben Solo. You will find a way, with Rey’s help.” Leia smiled sadly at her son.

He was quiet while he contemplated his mother’s words.

“Balance, son. Too much darkness created an imbalance in the Force, just as an imbalance is occurring now. That is why you’re here. The Force still has a role for you to play.”

Ben’s eyes flicked to Leia’s. “Rey is alone. Our Dyad has been broken. I’ve been here too long, I need to go to her.” Ben anxiously got up, Leia following suit. She put a calming hand on his arm.

“There’s time, time enough for you to make it back. Not even a full day has passed for Rey.”

“What? I’ve been here for weeks, talking to Grandfather, meditating and practicing parting the veil. I know he said time passes differently here, but...”

“It’s alright, Ben. Here you can learn what it takes a lifetime to achieve, in all but a blink of an eye. Now, the veil...when you reach the thread, let go of your expectations. Find the part of yourself that is bound to Rey. Feel the connection as if it were a physical thing. Let it flow into you, intertwine with you. Let it guide you; let it pull you back to her. Then, you can part the veil.”

Ben allowed his mother to tug him back to down into a sitting position. He closed his eyes, and began to make his way into deep meditation. “Mom?”

“Yes?”

“I love you,” he whispered.

A warm embrace encircled his body as Leia began to fade back into the Force. “I know,” came the murmured reply, full of love. “I will see you again, Ben.”

He found his way back to the thread, and gave into it.

***

Sitting down cross-legged at the mosaic on the floor of the temple, she released a calming breath and closed her eyes. Here of all places she hoped to connect with Ben, if only to say thank you, or goodbye - and be able to move forward with her life. Perhaps the chaos and confusion of her emotions had been the thing preventing it all along. “Ben...be with me...” she whispered.

Breathe. “Be with me...”

Breathe.

Breathe.

Rey reached out and felt the Force surround her; through her. It hummed warmly, seeping into her soul and her bones. A slight flicker caught her attention. She drew towards it, calling it closer to her as she went.

*

Ben felt a pull and let himself be drawn in. The veil was a gauze-like sheer that moved easily aside with his hand.

*

It was getting closer, the flicker. It grew like a flame, warm and inviting. It felt right; it was not a foreign thing at all, but a piece of herself. Unafraid, she knew that this would help heal her broken soul. She moved toward it, pulled it close, joined with it.

Warmth.  
Joy.  
Belonging.  
Coming home.

The feeling between their souls exploded within each of them, intertwined for the rest of time. Golden light emanated the First Temple and the Force sang in delight.

“Rey...” he breathed, her name a benediction to him. He was donned in simple grey robes and it seemed as though light radiated off his body.

Her eyes were still closed in meditation, but she broke into a relieved, but sad, smile. “Oh Ben, I couldn’t feel you and now I do. It hurt so much when I couldn’t,” she continued as he quietly moved closer to her. He realized that she thought he was communicating with her through the Force and not in person.

“I’ll always be with you,” he murmured, watching her emotions play over her lovely face. Then, sitting beside her, he took her hand in his and tears welled up in both their eyes at the simple feeling. She turned her head, and as her eyes fluttered open to look down at their joined hands, they widened in disbelief. Snapping her head up, she met his loving gaze and carefully reached with a trembling hand to touch his face.

A strangled gasp escaped her lips as she realized that he was here, he was real, and he wouldn’t ever leave her again. Her bottom lip quivered and tears followed as she scrunched up her face in a vain attempt to keep from full out bawling.

“Ben!”

He pulled her into his arms, cradling her gently as if she were the most precious thing in the world - because that’s what she was to him. He brushed the line of her cheek bone with his thumb. “Yes,” he whispered, “And I’ll never leave your side again.”

She nodded her head violently, her eyes crinkling with a smile that melted his heart. “I’m never letting you out of my sight ever again.”

He smiled that gorgeous lopsided grin, his tears falling freely now too. Laughing, he gathered her up and kissed her tenderly. It was a kiss full of promise, love, and homecoming.

Tears and smiles, they knew that their love would shake the stars. Forever.

**Author's Note:**

> This little piece has been rattling around in my head since I watched TROS - hope you like it! Comments and kudos make me do a happy dance - at least then I know someone read it, lol! xoxo


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